What is in a Name?
by chaostition
Summary: If we were to call a rose by any other name, would it smell as sweet? Reno found out what Hojo's name REALLY meant... and decided to share. Too bad Hojo was not as happy to learn the truth. Note: This is for fun, not the REAL meaning of Hojo's name.


Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, its characters, or any of its story. I do not own Urban Dictionary. This work was merely for fun, and I gain no money from it.

* * *

"Boss!" Reno whined, twirling in his computer chair, "I'm bored, yo. I got all that work done, and now there's nothing to do for… a couple 'a hours."

Tseng took the files off of the red head's desk with a sigh, "You can use the company computers for personal use…"

Reno greedily held his hands over the keyboard. Seeing that look, Tseng interjected, "If I find out that you went around the firewall, you have lab detail for a MONTH."

The red's shoulder slumped, and his hands dropped off the keyboard. He weighed the vices. Go around the block, and get stuck in the lab for a while. Don't go around the block… and be bored. Once he was sure Tseng was enthralled with the reports he had typed, Reno quickly evaded the firewall, hopping about his favorite (work-safe) sites.

* * *

He quickly grew bored again, and started searching for some well known ShinRa Employees.. "Tseng," He murmured as he typed… "Head of the Administrative Research Department for ShinRa Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Ugh."

He tried a new query. "Rufus ShinRa…. His birthday is next week!? Oh crap. Do NOT want party detail for the brat…"

Many searches later, a young secretary from the lower floors brought up a cup of coffee for the uninterested Turk. He looked up and winked at the girl, and graciously took the mug from her. He set it down to cool for a moment to try one last search.

"Hojo," he typed, some what disgusted it had to come to this. Entertainment, from the local loony's name. He rolled his eyes, and muttered as he clicked, "Why yes, I am feeling lucky."

Reno took up the mug as he waited for the page to load, sipping it. He looked at the screen, reading through the shock of blue and orange on the page. He choked on his coffee, and did a double take.

He quickly hit the print button and held his ribs from laughter. The printer whirred to life, as Tseng remotely shut down Reno's computer. "RENO!" Tseng yelled from his office. "LAB DETAIL. ONE MONTH EFFECTIVE TOMORROW!"

"Okay, Boss!!" Reno gasped as he shot his hand up in the air, thumbs up with approval. Tseng went back to his office, and Reno ripped the paper from the printer. He quickly ran from the offices, and to the nearest copier.

****

The next day in the labs was uneventful for the punished Turk. He spent the day leaning against one of the walls mostly, trying to get in contact with his buddy Rude, who was away in Junon.

However, it was a ruse for Reno. He watched from his trained eyes as one by one, the technicians looked at the bulletin board, blush or snicker, and walk away to send another up. It was equally entertaining to watch the resident mad scientist observe his technicians, each unable to make eye contact with him without bursting into laughter and tears.

Occasionally, Hojo would make the effort to sneer at the Turk who invaded his lab. Certainly Tseng could have sent a quieter, less noticeable one to the lab, couldn't he? Why in the name of Leviathan did he have to send this one, with his blaring red hair and insatiable longing for attention?

The doctor noticed the change in demeanor of his technicians. They couldn't be around him for long periods without some sort of abnormal reaction. They seemed like they were laughing at him, which enraged him to no end.

It wasn't until he broke his train of thought somewhere around the bulletin board did he realize that something was there that shouldn't be. He adjusted his glasses, moving closer to the photocopied page. His eyes hung on his name as he skimmed the page.

"_Hojo: Another word for a handjob…"_

Hojo took a step back from the page, eyes wide from shock. Scribbled in ink on the margins were things such as, "So –THAT'S- what he does during those "Research Expeditions" to Costa del Sol!" and "Wonder if he made it to the Director position that way!"

He paled for a moment, then his cheeks were set aglow from either anger, embarrassment, or a mix of the two. Hojo quickly ripped the page from the bulletin board and stuffed it in his pocket. He spun on his heel and quickly rushed back to his office.

Hearing that door slam sent Reno over the edge. He cackled, muffling himself into the sleeve of his coat. He would steal glances and show off the picture he took with his PHS of Hojo's face set aglow. He sent the picture to Rude with a caption, "Lab detail just got a whole lot more interesting."

By interesting, he meant that he had sent a copy of the page (premade captions included) to anyone in ShinRa who had an office. Even Hollander in the lower labs, just down below.

* * *

A/N: This was brought to my attention on Urban Dictionary (dot) com… If you don't believe me, you can look it up… and don't say I never warned you.

LUV's from Khaos


End file.
